Random Research from Newfoundland, Part II: Foods and Fred’s

Cont'd from Part I: A Baker's Dozen

Sitting in the Halifax airport and waiting to board our plane, which is emblazoned with the Maple Leaf and is bound for Boston, my wife unwraps a Maple Nut Clif Bar.

Smell this, she says.

“I don’t like maple,” I say, scrunching up my nose.

“What kind of Canadian spy are you?” she says.

The kind that likes maple syrup on his pancakes but not as a primary flavor in a nutrition bar or as frosting on a donut. And the kind that waits until he has outwitted the authorities —again—to file his findings.

Here then, is the second installment—a baker’s dozen sequel to Part I—of a two-part report.
1. Best Fish Sandwich: Chaffe’s Landing, Petty Harbour
The AMHL Photographer loved the lightly-bread cod, which the proprietor himself had caught that morning.

2. Best Record Store: Fred’s, St. John’sNo offense to O’Briens, which we’ve never visited, but Fred’s has the welcoming purple storefront, a friendly staff, ample space and selection, and about a half dozen preview stations.

3. Best CD I Bought: Tarahan, Tarahan’s Town
The CD cover, which depicts the Kool-Aid coloured (proposed new flavours: Cheery Cherry, Guffaw Grape, and Laugh-Out-Loud Lime) row houses for which St. John’s is famous, attracted me. Then, the balance buoyed by the bands’ own well-crafted lyrics and splendid renditions of a U2 classic and Newfoundland favourite, hooked me.

4. Best CD I Didn’t Buy: Donnie Dumphy, I Loves Doing Wheelies
Donnie Dumphy’s I Loves Doing Wheelies first commanded my attention as we walked by the announcement (nailed to a telephone pole) of his CD release. His lyrics were, in the words of the AMHL Photographer, “disturbingly catchy.” I liked the album’s title and the cover shot, but the songs were not my cup of Tetley.

5. Best Non-Red Green Pun: Just Desserts
Red Green, the hockey-loving redneck with the Irish-invoking surname, delivered a couple doozies as part of the “Possum Drop” episode, which airs on the CBC (and PBS in the states), but the raspy-voiced rascal’s puns would take to long to explain here. Channeling the Canadian punmaster as I walked past the vacated Just Desserts shop, I said, “It looks deserted.” (“I knew you were going to say that,” my wife replied. “I knew, on some level, you were going to say that.)

6. Best Senior Hockey Team: Clarenville Caribous
Caribou or Caribous? Doesn’t matter what collective noun you use. This team of adult hockey players won the Herder by beating the Conception Bay Cee Bees.

7. Best New Donut at Tim Hortons: The Key Lime
The aroma reaches the olfactory system before the taste buds can take over. I normally don’t go for the filled donuts—too messy—but the sour power of this tangy treat was too much to resist.

8. Best Place to Re-tell Ghost Stories: O’Reilly’s, St. John’s
You need only find a friendly off-duty employee and a bouncer/folklore major.

9. Best Place to See a Ghost: Queen’s Street in St. John’s
I double dog dare you to take the Haunted Hike with Doug Jarvis; follow that up by reading his book; and then—the next night—take a solo tour of Queen’s Road.

10. Best Getaway for a Gluten-free Snack
At The Bookery, you’ll satisfy not only your sweet tooth but will also be beset by beguiling books (many that you won’t necessarily find at Chapters or Borders). I recommend losing yourself in the literary realm for as long as you need, and then enjoying your newfound treasure with an almond cranberry pastry and a white tea.

11. Best Recommendation We Didn’t Follow
The Caribou Burger at Aqua, recommended by The Bookery’s proprietor, sounded tasty. But on our last night in Newfoundland, this Canadian spy opted to keep a low profile.

12. Best Salad in St. John’s
In a province where flavorful fruit and crunchy vegetables are difficult to keep fresh, the YellowBelly Brewery and Public House offers just that. Orange wedges, curly-qued carrot shavings, cranberries, and leafy greens—mix in pecans and drip in maple vinaigrette—and you’ve got a colourful and crunchy salad that’s anything but cowardly.

13. Best Food and Service
At Pasta Plus Café on Water Street, you’ll find a wide variety of temping creations. My favorite is the baked Mac ‘n’ Cheese (go the extra kilometer and add chicken for three bucks). And if you’re lucky, your waiter will be as earnest and friendly as Matthew Hornell.

Random Research from Newfoundland, Part I: The Best Of, a Baker’s Dozen

On a dead end road, the spy car is stopped. We’re waiting for the safe house operator to arrive. Exposed, with no where to go.

“I don’t have a signal, either,” the AMHL Photographer/my wife says about the spy phone. She goes to sleep, and I take first watch.

All is calm on this random island—until two counterintelligence operatives wearing orange life vests speed by in a motored boat. They cast suspicious glances in our direction but continue west. Close call…and the mission, to identify the best of Newfoundland Labrador, continues…

1. Best weather: Light snow in late May
Frosting the “pine-clad hills" of the Avalon region, the snowy image may grace our next Christmas card.

2. Best ice-breaker: “How are ya gettin’ on?”This conversation-starter is common on “The Rock,” but any come-from-away posing this question with the correct pitch and pronunciation will (without raising suspicion) get the locals talking.

3. Best iceberg: Trinity Bay, Bonavista Peninsula (pictured)The AMHL Photographer captured this pinnacled ‘berg off the coast of Melrose.

4. Best Sign: Bonavista City Limits
Bonavista: Home of NHLers Michael Ryder (Bruins) and Adam Pardy (Flames).

5. Best History Lesson: Cape Bonavista Lighthouse
Thank you to the modern-day lighthouse guides. The light no longer needs an overnight keeper, and weather trends are tracked by someone else; but our guides are now history’s beacons.

6. Best Cup of Coffee (and Blueberry Cheesecake): Walkham’s Gate Pub, Bonavista
Java so smooth to the palate and cheesecake sans too much sugar: These two items belong together like hockey and donuts.

7. Best Hockey Color Commentator: PJ StockThe former Bruin, now retired but still sporting a playoff beard, still packs a powerful, yet playful, punch as a between-periods analyst on Hockey Night in Canada.

8. Best Book I Didn’t Buy at Chapters: Forward Thinking, The Danny Cleary Story
I have way too many hockey books in my queue, but after perusing this Newfoundlander’s biography, I was tempted to add Brendan McCarthy’s book to my bookshelf.

9. Best Donut Book Not Available at Chapters: Do Donuts Fall in the Winter?I had no idea what the book is about, but the title is catchy, eh? It's not available in the Chapters in St. John's, so you'll have to order it online.

10. Best Musical Performance: Chris Hennessy at Shamrock City, St. John’s
A pint of Guinness on the stool beside him, a guitar in his hands, and a soothing voice to comfort the crowd. Nobody does “Candle in the Wine” any better.

11. Best Place to Read Ghost Stories: Random Island
Spine-tingling tales from Dale Jarvis. Best to read Haunted Shores: True Ghost Stories of Newfoundland and Labrador with a security blanket or, even better, a real person to watch your back.

12. Best Radio Station: VOCMCall in or just listen to Open Line or Back Talk. Or when these programs are off the air, listen to the likes of Paul Brandt or Shania Twain (both Canadians) or tune into the news at 590 on your AM dial.

13. Best News: Daffodil Place Meets Its GoalsThis haven for families fighting cancer, which raised seven million dollars in just two years (a year sooner than expected), will conduct opening ceremonies on June 12, 2009.

Part II: Food and Fred's

O-Town Espionage: Man on the Street

After surveying unsuspecting citizens on Wellington Street and at the safe house, kibitzing with Sens fans in Kanata, and trading e-mail with another Ottawan, I bring you the following snippets.

GTA
He’s a Leafs’ fan, but his favourite Senator is Dany Heatley. #1 donut is the Sour Cream, Glazed.

Does is have to be from Timmy’s?

“Nowhere else.”

B-Frit
“I haven’t played hockey since I was a kid.” He doesn’t watch hockey either—or at least doesn’t have a favourite Sen. The Blueberry Fritter is his first choice, but he thinks the Old Fashioned is most popular in O-Town.

DC
“Double Chocolate,” she says without hesitation. But when asked who her favourite hockey player is, she has to think about it…and then says, “Fisher.”

Safe house1
She’s not a hockey fan, so does that mean she knows B-Frit? Nope. She likes crullers, no matter the manufacturer.

Safe house2
“I think Gerber is a great goalie.”

And he thinks the Boston Cream is the bomb. Does it have to be from Timmy’s?

“You know it.”

MUN1
Dressed in a Bruins jersey, he says he likes the Walnut Crunch (sounds familiar, eh?).

UsherShe digs Chris Neil. #1 donut is the Canadian Maple, washed down with a Triple Triple (milk, not cream).

Kingston1
He’s sporting the Black and Gold, #8 on his back, #4 in his heart…and a Chocolate Dip on his mind.

Kingston2Like father, like son. Almost. The kid likes Kessel and the Old Fashion.

Plain Jane
Dany Heatley is #1 on the ice, and the plain Old Fashion is tops on her donut list. (Maybe B-Frit was right?)

“Plain? What does that say about me? “Jazz it up a bit,” says her husband.

Jazzy
He’s fond of the (Apple) Fritter and a fan of Chris Neil.

2CupDonuts are nothing to write home about. He’ll have a cup of coffee at Tim’s but prefers his first and subsequent cups at Second Cup.

Until next time, O-Town, farewell.